Secrets
by Oh Jashin Sama
Summary: Two years after the war. Follow Sasami on a strange journey of erased memories never senseless bloodshed. Sorry I sucks at summaries. Slight AU. (A/N: I am still not sure on whether or not to make this a Hidan fanfic or Gaara fanfic so there will not be any pairings until later chapters.)


**~Prologue~**

 _~chka cha cha chka chcha~_

Overly loud melodies pierced through the eardrums of a young person walking through the streets of some backwater village. A slight dance in their step as they made their way down the path of shops and apartments. Eyes unintentionally closed, soaking in the rhythmic beats. Blonde hair, almost a shade of murky white, was pulled back into a tight pony tail, exposing its shaved underside; bounced lightly with each energetic step. Without notice, the figure bumped into someone in front of them.

 _'shit...'_

"Aha...uh, hey sorry 'bout that mister."

The stranger that had accidentally been run into clicked his tongue against his front teeth in annoyance.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Watch where you're going next time, kid."

 _~ka chka ka ch-~_

The blonde pulled one earbud from their head, rolling their eyes.

 _'Rude much?! I said I was sorry you tottering old prick.'_

"Calm down, ossan. I apologized, didn't I? What crawled up your butt this morning?"

"Wha-?"

He was astonished. The look on his face was more surprised that some pipsqueak had spoken to him in such a way. Be that as it may, and angry as he was, he found it worthless to argue with some random kid. Mumbling to himself about the lack of respect kids had these days, as he pulled himself away from the confrontation.

The blonde shrugged, watching the old man saunter off. It had been a long trip, and the suntanned blonde just wanted to rest. Bare feet once more found themselves back in motion looking for any sort of lodging.

"Hello young man, what can I do for you?"

The blonde shook their head and smirked, attempting to stifle a giggle. This wasn't the first time someone thought she was a boy. Even if her facial features were clearly feminine, she assumed it was on account of how she dressed...and never wore shoes— even though she carried them around.

"Is something the matter, sir?"

"Haaa...no, no. Im just tired, if you would please, I need a room for a few days. Whatever you have is fine, I'm not looking for something too extravagant. Just the basics."

The older woman smiled, lighting up her chubby cheeks with a faint blush at _'his'_ politeness. With a small nod, she placed a key on the desk.

After a quick soak in the outdoor bath, and some light reading, she decided to get back to her mission.

Re-wrapping her chest, she thanked whatever kami out there that she wasn't extremely gifted in the chest department, like some girls she had seen on her travels. Tying the obi of her blue happi coat, keeping her chest bindings underneath, invisible; Pulled her baggy capris up, she looked at herself in the mirror. It was better, safer, if she dressed more like a boy.

Women, especially young looking ones who traveled alone had a higher chance of disappearing. Her golden eyes scanned over her face slowly; placing her fingertips against her cheek. She wasn't plain, but she wasn't a drop dead sex pot either. In contrast with her extremely light hair, her lashes were a darker shade of blonde— almost an ashy brown. Her face was small, but not childish looking. An erratic fringe that hid her forehead, just above her eyes; longer at its sides, covering her heavily pierced ears. She couldn't help but smile; as she was never one to worry too much about appearances unless absolutely necessary— which it never was. Plus it's not like makeup with practical, or worth the trouble, in her line of work.

Grinning at herself in the mirror, "I guess, maybe only boys shave their heads."

Just as she was leaving the inn the owner, or whom she assumed was the owner, stopped her in her tracks. Now, she wasn't one to particularly get angry or annoyed when someone stopped her, but she had things to do. Stopping for idle chit chat with old people wasn't on her agenda— not unless it got her information.

"Did I not pay you enough, Obaa-chan? If so, I can go back to my room-"

She held up her stubby hand in protest.

"No, no, young man. It's just that I noticed earlier you weren't wearing shoes..."

 _'Oh great...here it comes, a fucking lecture.'_

"Is that not allowed or somethin'?"

"Ah! No. You misunderstand. Maybe because I have grandchildren around your age, that it concerned me. I can see that you are traveling— it's just not safe for you to be wandering around with bare feet! You might step on something and hurt yourself!"

 _'Oh, please! There are much worse things than stepping on some thorns...'_

"Hm? Oh, well I have shoes, I just prefer not to wear them...it makes my life easier, so to speak?"

The old inn keeper, didn't seem to buy the obviously fishy sounding excuse. Her brows knitted with concern, as she glanced down at her once again bare feet; this time at least, they weren't dirty.

"Here. I went a bought you some sensible footwear. Even if you already have a pair, consider it a gift from a concerned grandmother, alright?"

How could she say no? It would be extremely rude to do so. Smiling, the blonde nodded in thanks as the woman pulled out a pair of black, almost knee high sandals.

 _'Deja-vu'_

"Well, I've got things to do. See ya, Obaa-chan! Thanks again."

After hours of searching, and asking credible looking people questions...she got jack out of it all. No good leads, and the ones she did get turned out to be dead ends. This went on for several days as well; what could she expect from an off the beaten path village? She wanted to just give up, and go home— but from what she could remember, she was nothing more than a rouge. A wanderlust. Home was what she carried on her back; not a place. She was fine with that. Luxuries were nice, but being tied down was nothing more than a foreign concept— a horrid one that she wanted no part of.

With a whole bunch of nothing that had happened, she decided to go out for a drink...and maybe some food. Relaxing was a luxury , and she was going to enjoy it. It was time to just pack up and head off to the next place, come sunrise.

The eatery was crowded, but not suffocating. Scanning the sea of faces,it seemed as though it was a common stop for travelers and shinobi alike. Still no sign of anything helpful, at least not in her opinion. She spotted a group of shinobi, but found it best not to ask, lest she seem suspicious— and that was the very last thing she needed right now. Suspicions or false accusations. Not that she _looked_ suspicious, or anything.

Sighing, she pulled herself onto a barstool and ordered herself some takoyaki and saké. Mulling over her thoughts, and the information she did have on the target, she guzzled down cup after cup. She knew what village they came from, but that was still a long ass trip from where she was— from what she could remember, the person travelled quite a lot, and wasn't exactly the type to mingle outside their business.

She ran a hand down her face in a tipsy stupor, and partial frustration. If she had a damn photo, everything would be much easier! Motioning for another round, she leaned against the counter, face in her palm.

Chilly air hit her face as she arose from the restaurant. It was a welcoming feeling that kept her balanced on her feet. Knowing she would regret a night of heavy drinking in the morning, she hurriedly made her way back to her rented futon.

Though once she had arrived...she got an odd surprise.

 _'There was a young man here looking for you. He said his name was Koyomi._

 _~ Obaa-San'_

 _'Who? I don't know anyone by that name...or alias? Good grief, her handwriting is just ghastly.'_

Either way, it wasn't a threat.

Crumpling the note that was placed on her pillow, she tossed it into the corner before burying herself under the covers. Welcoming a deep, and hopefully dreamless slumber.

 _'I need you to do it again.'_

 _'Your problems don't concern me, girl.'_

 _'Seriously? This does concern you! I don't need to remember any of what happened.'_

 _'What a stupid woman you are. Why should I help you?'_

 _'I brought you what you asked for and more. If anything, it was a damn trade you fuckin' weirdo..'_

 _'From the look on your face, it seems you enjoyed it. Maybe too much.'_

 _'Shut up! Just do what I want so I can seamlessly get on with my life. Besides, if something happens to me and I get found out, it could put you in quite the predicament.'_

 _The male voice snickered softly at her not so harsh words._

 _'I think you underestimate my talents.'_

 _'If you're so goddamn talented, then do what I asked!'_

 _'Fine. But don't think for a second I will do this again.'_

Always with the weird dreams. She didn't know why she had them, nor cared enough to dwell on those types of things. With a pounding headache, she got up to get ready.

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when she slid her room key across the desk. Exiting through the shoji doors, she noticed a blue haired figure, obscured by the shadows, standing under the noren.

"Did you get my message?" The figure asked.

 _'Message? Oh...the one Obaa-San left.'_

"I have no idea who you are, or what you want with me."

If they were taken aback, or surprised, it didn't show.

"Koyomi, Sasami-San. We have been connected for quite some time."

"You didn't answer my question."

The Koyomi boy tilted his head back, and let out a light laugh.

"I need you to answer questions for me, not the other way around."

"You haven't asked me any."

"You are just as _insatiable_ as ever."

She shrugged, not knowing exactly what he meant by that, but she decided to play along. From what she had deduced over the course of the past few minutes, he didn't seem like a threat...but she still had to be on her toes.

"Until the questions I have for you are answered, I will not be leaving your side. Nothing more, nothing less."

Well there wasn't really any harm in that, but if he at all interfered with her mission, she would not hesitate to _exterminate_ his presence.

The village was long gone behind their tracks, the sun was nearly reaching its highest point in the sky. There was no idle chit chat on their journey together, which was starting to bug her. All she wanted was him to finish asking whatever questions he had, and be long gone before she reached the next sign of habitation. Fed up with the monotonous situation she had been forced into, she thought it best to try asking herself.

"Within my capabilities, what would you like to know?"

"There are many things, I would like to know. But, what I am curious about is where you are going? Someone like you can't just be let free to roam."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I have never once been questioned about my travels. I am not a criminal."

"Is that so...hmph." Koyomi let out a light chuckle, as if indicating he knew something she didn't.

"Currently, I am looking for someone."

"Are you going to kill that person?"

"No."

"I see..."

There was silence between the two, once more— and it continued for quite some time.

Sasami pov

 _'Koyomi...Koyomi...I don't know this man. So why did he say we're connected? We couldn't be related, that's for damn sure. There's no one...whatever. He's not familiar at all, his face, his voice, nothing about him rings a bell. So what could he want with me?'_

"Hey, lets make camp before the sun goes down. I need to meditate."

"We do not need to make camp just so you can meditate."

"Look here you _prick_ , this is, well was, _my_ journey. But, oh no! Your ass decided to tag along and bore me with evasive questions. If I want to do something, on my time, I'm going to do it. End of story. So you cant complain about it, sit down, shut up and join me...or you can get on your merry little way."

"You've always had such a nasty tongue. Even when you're happy, you words are violent and otherwise foul."

"Perhaps. Whatever the case, I suggest you take your opinions elsewhere. Now, leave me be for awhile, please."

The smile he regarded me with was icy. I still couldn't tell what it was, but I kept sensing something peculiar about his chakra, but I couldn't exactly figure out why.

While he set up camp, I made my a little ways into the trees before finding a small clearing. If this Koyomi person was serious about following me, I needed to clear my head.

The two sat in silence as a small fire crackled in between them. Sasami hadn't said a word since she had gotten back. With her mind clear, she looked over at the blue haired man who was looking through a book of some kind.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. I simply wanted to apologize for my...less than pleasant behavior. There are many things I need to get done, but that still doesn't excuse how I was acting. So, I'm sorry Koyomi."

He flashed her another icy smile, before returning to his literature.

"Sasami-San." He quietly regarded the woman without looking up.

"Hm? What is it?"

"What do you remember before your trip?"

"I don't see what that has to do with anything."

He sighed, placing his book in his bag and slowly crept over to her spot in front of the dwindling fire. Pressing his pointer finger between her brows, he gave her a blank look.

"Your eye. Let me see it."

"You've already seen them."

Koyomi laughed lightly— not out of humor, but impatience at her continuous feigned ignorance. "Not those. The other one. I managed to catch a glimpse of it while I watched you meditate. How did _you_ , of all people, gain access to it?"

"This conversation is over. If that is what you really sought me out for, then you ne-"

She felt a the cold metal of a kunai dig into her esophagus— a tiny bead of warm crimson, slowly trickled down onto her coat. Blankly, she continued to eye him. After she had decided to be nice to him, he pulled this kind of crap; although she couldn't see his beady eyes, she could feel the mirth and rage they held as the stared into her own.

"Go ahead, kill me."

"I would love to watch you die by my own hand, I really, _really_ would, but unfortunately it's not my place to do so." His voice barely above a whisper.

 _'Not his place? What the heck is he talking about? I don't understand any of this.'_

She could hear the anger shaking in every word that had come out of his mouth.

"Where did you come from?"

"Nowhere important. But, would you like to know something?" He paused briefly before releasing her, and placing his kunai back into the holster on his thigh. "You, Sasami-San, you're nothing but a _murderer_. You have no value of human life." His words were dripping with venom with every phonetic enunciation.

She knew what kind of person she was. But looking back on those moments, served no purpose. What's done, was done. No one, and no amount of killing her or anyone else could change that.

" We all have to make sacrifices for the things we want, Koyomi."

"That's some bull, coming from you. That man tainted you."

"May I ask whom you speak of?"

"What is wrong with you? You know exactly who I'm talking about."

Sasami shifted her sitting position, sighing at the comfort it brought her legs. "I don't."

She did. Well, not exactly as one might recall a fresh memory...but she knew a few things.

"I think you need to reevaluate your life, because a point in time will come where you will get everything you deserve, and more, raining down in hellfire around you."

Sasami didn't know where the hell she was, but was thankful that the Koyomi person had gone on his way. Where? He was mum on that, nor did she really care— though she had a feeling he would eventually find her again.

After the previous night, she found herself buried deep in her book. Earbuds back in their rightful places, and exuberant feathery steps as she continued on.

"You are headed in the right direction. From here it may take a day or so, if you continue in without stopping, but you will get there." The old man said with a small smile as he shakily handed her the necessary provisions she would need to cross the desert. Refusing to accept the change for her purchase, she bowed deeply and left. Placing her earbuds back in, Sasami dug out a thick black book from her bag to further occupy her trip.

 _'This is A Story._

 _I call it, A Story, because that's all it is. dear reader, it is not finished, and I am not sure it ever will be. But I promise that everything, herein contains only truth. It is not a pretty truth, nor some sort of unrealistic fairytale. These pages are stained with blood and hatred. Guilt, death, and greed. So please, whoever you are, do not put this Story down. My life, or what it used to be, is now in your hands._

 _I will not start at the beginning of what brought me here. My life before this is irrelevant and tedious— nothing more than a waste of ink and paper. But I will tell you this;_

 _My parents, loving. My family, doting. But they have secrets, I am not old enough to know about. Even if I am able to fight, kill, and protect my own, I still am not allowed to hear them. Not worthy. There were many scrolls and books in the compound, but I was beaten profusely for trying to look through them. Blame my curious nature. No matter, physical wounds heal in time._

 _In their eyes, I am strong, but I am only that way because I have them. No matter how much I am allowed to do on my own, I am still sheltered. Some may call it lucky, or convenient, but it is pure hell. No one should live like this. I honestly would not wish this kind of fate on even the cruelest of enemies. Luxury comes at a price; something I will never be willing to pay. I want more than this. I want my skills to be my own...and it is for that reason I have left it all behind. This kind of place only breeds the weak minded._

 _Indeed, I stole something. Something precious. Though I don't see what makes it so. A dingy old scroll, that cannot be opened. There is no keyhole, no ribbon to gracefully untie, only a seal. To be completely honest, I obviously did not see it through. But I cannot go back, nor can I return it. So it will just stay with me until the time comes, when I am either forced or willing decide to face them._

 _I do no know what one would consider this, but I presume I am nothing more than a deserter. A thief. The world is cruel and unforgiving, and I shall try my best to be the same. If not for my uncle, I would end up like my sister. A puppet. Blind to the reality that is, that lays outside the compounds terra-cotta stone walls, the very ones that tried to swallow me whole. She is nothing more than a sheep who eagerly follows the farmer, unable to want to think for them self. I harbor no feelings, ill or adoring, toward the girl...though maybe a lukewarm feeling of pity. I guess, I am the black sheep in that awful world of theirs. Though I cannot bring myself to hate them, that would require wasting my time and energy._

 _It is strange, dear reader; for all the evil things I have been told about the world outside those gates, it is surprisingly easy to survive. In have no restrictions. No authority. I am free to do whatever it is I please. It is absolutely exhilarating! Everything is at access of my fingertips._

How many times had she re-read the beginning of her book? She had lost track. It sense of nostalgia washed through her every time she did. And every time she did read it, it got her mind reeling— mostly for the fact she hadn't made it past the first fifty, or so, pages.

Regardless, with her attention being directed to those pages, and her own thoughts, the journey went quicker than she thought.

The village Hidden in The Sand, in the distance; obscured by sandy breezes and blinding sunlight. Oh how she was starting to miss green foliage and mud— at the very least she had decided to wear shoes. No doubt she would have procured massive welts and burns on her feet, if she had done otherwise.

Now that she was so close...she felt anxiety ball up in the depths of her stomach. How was she to approach this? Beg and plead? Play it cool, and breeze on in with questions. Act like the tourist she was...or traveler, seeking training? Either way, she found it hard to find an answer to her question. Maybe she could just let things naturally fall into place...but who knows how long that might take? She would accept any answer but a solid, "No.". Having never met, or even engaged in any sort of way, with this person, she felt as though everything she had done so far to get here, was at a standstill.

Fuck it. She would just walk right in, like any sort of traveler that might come to such a desolate place. Though she assumed most people wouldn't trek into a desert this far without good reason. Regardless, if she was to play it off, she could just disguise herself.

Of course, once she was spotted, trudging through the heat, she was questioned about her business there. It wasn't the first time it had happened when she had come to a new place, but seeing as how she didn't appear to be hostile, she was sent on her way quickly and hassle free.

Sasami procured herself some form of simple digs until she would find something more suitable for a long stay— that is if she finds the person and they are okay with guiding her training. With no more than a soft creak, as she pulled her weight off the mattress, Sasami placed her earbuds back in their rightful places in her person and head out the door. She was tired, that was appearant by the mild bags under her usually bright eyes— but she needed to at least eat and do some looking.

With no photo to go on, just a name and a horribly short description of them, it was like being on a goose chase.

"I'd like an order of soumen...extra sesame oil and ginger, beef donburi, tonkatsu with extra cabbage...and a side of deep fried gizzards, if you please?"

The waitress taking her order, looked shocked by such an amiable amount of food for a person so small. "Are you sure, young man? That's quite a lot."

Sasami flashed her a childish grin, and nodded. The waitress was still a bit hesitant, but smiled. "Oh hey and can I get a beer or something to wash this stuff down?" The girl nodded once more, and left her to wait.

Alone at her table, she merely observed the patrons like always. This village was considerably bigger, and louder than that backwater town she previously stayed in. But unlike the beautiful mix of colors, everything was a dingy shade of beige or mauve. What could she expect, rainbows? No, of course not, she was in the middle of a bowl of sand.

Sooner than she thought, her tall and frosty drink came, with her multiple platters of food. Sasami's mouth watered at the feast set in front of her. Sure, because she 'looked' the part of a boy, she could probably just eat as greedily as her stomach begged her to; no, she had manners and couldn't condone her hunger into eating like some sort of heathen.

"Woah, that kid sure can pile it in!" A loud voice, probably louder than the speaker intended, commented a few tables down.

"Hmph. It's not polite to stare at someone while their eating, much less a stranger, you moron." A husky, yet light, female voice defended— not bothering to observe.

Out of the corner of Sasamis' eye, she glanced over at the "moron" who was making the commotion.

 _'What an odd looking...well not that odd, fellow. Wait did he just say "kid"?'_

"Whatever, Temari. I just didn't think anyone ate as much as Naruto, but I guess I was wrong."

"Shut up, you're ruining my meal."

Now Sasami's attention was at full mass, choking on a mouth full of fried gizzard and soumen noodles. She could feel the strangers eyes boring into to her, as he watched the scene unfold. Guzzling down half of her beer, she managed to dislodge the ball of food slowly sliding down her throat.

"Shit...ugh. That was _not_ fun..." she grumbled to herself, hearing a soft snicker from a few tables down.

Taking a deep breath, she ignored the stifled snickering. But rather than get irritated, she smiled, wanting to get a closer look.

Shifting her sitting position, as not to be seen clearly, making a hand sign discreetly against her chest; closing her eyes.

 _"Yon."_


End file.
